Late Night Confessions
by DelicateFuckingFlower
Summary: Clary can't sleep, she has a secret and its eating her inside, how will she tell Jace how will he react? Will he hate her? One-shot


**Hey Humans! So...It's currently 2am and I am in desperate need of sleep, but instead I did this…hope you like it!**

 _I swear to god this stupid fucking pillow, I'm seriously close to throwing you out the fucking window, I don't care if its closed, you'll still go through it!_ Rolling over for the thousandth time I tried to get comfy, it was not going very well

"What are you doing" I heard the golden blob next to me groan. _Shit he's awake….what if I tell him now?_

"Trying to get comfy on this stupid fucking pillow! What even is this bloody thing?!" _Alright the bitch has been released, stand back people._

"It's the stupid special pillow you picked out last week because you just had to have it!" I could hear the laughter in his voice letting me know he was just teasing me…but he picked the wrong the night. _Yeah well last week I didn't have this stupid secret and everything was fine and I was able to sleep and my pillow was comfy!_

"Yeah? Well it sucks! And soon it's going to go out the fucking window!" _I'm seriously not kidding pillow you have approximately three seconds to get your shit together before you become skewered with glass and your feathers are used for a birds nest!_

"C'mon Clare, come here and just try and sleep. It's late, we've got a busy day tomorrow and you need your rest" He pulled me into his arms so we were effectively spooning. Any other time I would have been completely content with the world, normally his arms were heaven and as long as I was in them any problem could be solved, but right now they were the last place I wanted to be. _Tell him now? He's going to hate me…_

Pushing myself out of his arms, I sat up and turned to face him. I ran my hands through my hair…and then I snapped…

"I don't want you to hug me! I just want to go to sleep! Jesus Christ! Is that so much to ask?!" my voice was slowly rising. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down. _Don't be a bitch! He's done nothing wrong! You're just too scared to tell him! Wimp!_

I could see the confusion in his eyes at my outburst, but before I could even think about taking it back, he interrupted my train of thought

"Ok, seriously what is wrong? And don't blame the pillow, you've been off for the last week?" I could see the hope and desperation in his face, begging me for an answer, we never kept secrets, no matter how small, it was our unspoken promise, and he could see I was keeping something from him, something big.

Before I could go ahead and do something stupid like tell him, _oh yeah cause that won't solve anything, it's not like he's not going to find out?!_ I jumped out of bed, grabbed my robe and headed to the door.

"Clary! Where the hell are you going?!" I could hear him shuffling behind me trying to untangle himself from the sheets to follow me.

"I don't know! But not here! Like you said you need to sleep and I'm just keeping you awake! So go to sleep!" _Yup its official, you're actually the world's biggest bitch right now. Just man up and fucking tell him!_

I could see his resolve in his eyes trying to cover he hurt at my not confiding in him, _fuck._ But he was on a mission and he was going to pry the information out of me, just like he always does, but it's never gone on this long before, _and it's never been this big._ So before he could I made a quick exit. Once I was in the hallway, I was stuck. _Great plan genius! Any idea where you're going to go after your big exit? Cause you can be sure and shit he's not going to let it go now._ I could hear his rustling through the door, he was going to be here any second, and if he caught me he was going to make me talk. Guaranteed. I made a spilt decision and ducked into the room opposite me, I had literally just closed the door when I heard ours open. _He'd never think to look for me in here, he doesn't even know I come in here, I'm safe…for now._

"Clary? What's going on? Its 1am. Why are you awake? Why are you in here?" _HOLY SHIT._ At the sound of his voice I just a sold foot in the air, turning to face him I slid down the door until my knees were to my chest and my head was in my hands. I used my palms to rub the back of my eyes and took a second to restart my heart. _Seriously?! Can I not catch a fucking break? Of course the one night I choose to use Alec's room as a secret hide out he's here, he's never here he's always at Magnus's!_

Looking up through the cracks in my fingers, I could see Alec's outline against the lamp in the corner, he slowly slid out of the bed as if I was a wild animal and he didn't want to startle me, as he got closer he bent down to my height, I could see his mouth turn down at the corners at my obvious distress. I could feel my hair sticking up everywhere from the amount of times I ran my hands through it tonight and I'm 96% sure I had crazy eyes.

"What happened? Did you tell him? What did he say?" he was whispering and using short sentences, almost as if he was talking to a small child. Reaching out towards me he slowly grabbed my hands and pulled them away from my face, at the contact I lost it. I practically fell into his arms as the dam burst and all the pent up stress and anguish was set free. I barely even felt us moving but the next thing I knew we were on the bed and I was in his arms as I cried into his shoulder and soaked his shirt.

"I-I didn't t-tell him…" I tried to force the words out through the sobs. "I-I can't he's going to ha-ate me."

"Of course he's not! He could never hate you. He loves you. He's gotta know though." The feel of his fingers running through my hair, it was soothing.

"Y-you don't under-stand, we were talking about it a-ages ago….and not o-only did the thing he n-never wanted to happen, h-happen but it happened a w-week ago and I-I-I didn't tell him….we d-don't have secrets!" that's when I lost the ability to talk through the sobs, but Alec just held me, running his fingers through my hair and letting me ruin his shirt. Apparently there was a lot more angst inside me than I realized…

He didn't speak for a while, he just let me cry until it was all out. Eventually I ran out of tears. Pulling me back to get a proper look at me he used this thumbs to wipe away any remains left on my face.

"Clary, listen to me, I know Jace, nothing you ever say could make him stop loving you, not even when you thought you guys were related!" he stopped for a second seeing if he got a reaction out of me, but there was nothing, the crying had left me numb. At my obvious lack of reaction he continued. "Worst that'll happen is he mopes around for a few days, but honestly he can never stay mad at you! You know that." I felt myself sigh at that, running my hands over my face

"This is different. It's not something I can just take back, its happened and he's going to find out, and he's going to flip his shit, and he's going to be disappointed.." That was the worst part, I could already picture the look on his face when I told him, he wouldn't get mad, he wouldn't mope, He would smile and tell me it was alright but I would still see the hardening in his eyes and the disappointment that would course through him, and I would have to spend every day looking at him knowing I'm the reason that's there. And that. Is what I couldn't handle.

"Clary? Why is this so bad?" he must have seen the look on my face because he backtracked pretty quickly. "No, I know it's bad, but this happens to mundane's everywhere, I bet you it's happening to someone else right now, it's not the end of the world. We're all here. Clary, we know how easy it is for something like this to happen, you're not the first person in history to have to deal with this!" he must have thought he had a pretty solid argument because beneath all the concern I could see a tiny bit of smugness trying to worm its way through.

"Yeah, but I'm probably the first shadowhunter!" It was true, I doubt this ever happened to any of them. _There's probably some stupid rune they use to prevent this sort of thing! If not I'm sure I could make one! Why didn't I think of that beforehand?!_ Alec just rolled his eyes at my flawless logic.

"As if! Now you're just exaggerating! I can name 3 off the top of my head! One might surprise you."

Taking a deep breath I tried to calm the sudden nausea that rose up inside of me. Putting my hands to my forehead I took a deep breath trying to push it away. I was not winning. Alec watched my struggle with narrowed eyes. _Great. He's just going to use this as another excuse for me to tell Jace._

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to win the battle, it was not going well. With reflexes that only a shadowhunter could possess, Alec lifted me up and sprinted towards his ensuite. We made it with a second to spare before my dinner made a surprise entrance. He just sat there held my hair and rubbed my back and whispered soothing words until my stomach was empty. Carrying me back to the bed I could practically hear his mind running a million miles an hour. _Jace should be the one doing this…blah blah blah…I know! But considering I can barely be in the same room as him right now, you're stuck with me._

"You ok?" the worry was clear in his voice, to shadowhunters, especially male shadowhunters, vomiting was never a good sign, even if you had a perfectly reasonable explanation for it and were expecting it. _C'mon it's not like this is a mundane specific ailment! You know this!_

"Yeah, fine, it's passed now….I'm actually a bit hungry." At that he smiled, the first real, proper, full blown smile he'd directed at me since I told him…

"Well then! Come along! Let's get you something to eat! Promise I'm a better cook than Izzy! Magnus has been teaching me!" At the last part he turned a deep shade of red. _Oh god…I don't even want to know what Magnus has been teaching you!_ I had to laugh at the possibilities though, I'd never known Magnus to cook something himself, normally he would just snap his fingers and make it appear, but lately he's been taking a real interest in doing things the 'human' way, I suspect Alec has a huge role to play in that!

"As long as its G rated I'm in! Show me the food!" grabbing my hand, we jumped up and prepared to run to the kitchen, around half way there we remembered it was 3am and people were sleeping. _Oops...sorry._

Once there Alec decided to prepare me his famous, one of a kind, vegemite sandwich, we'd discovered it on our hunting travels and for the last couple of months I had been craving it like crazy!

"Oh my god! You are a god-send this is amazing!" it was like crack! It was just the right amount of vegemite to butter ratio, it actually even made me forget my problem's for the minute it took me to scarf it down. Yeah. It was that good. Alec and I must have been a lot louder than I thought because upon opening my eyes after taking the last bite of heaven, my sight was filled with gold. _Fuck._

Jace did not look happy, with all the crying, vomiting and eating I kind of forgot Jace probably spent the last two hours searching the Institute looking for me…and here I was eating a vegemite sandwich with his brother.

Alec looked at us both apologetically as he moved to make a swift exit, but not before turning around and mouthing 'tell him' to me behind Jace's back. _Traitor!_

"Clary. What the hell is going on! First you suddenly start acting all weird, then you storm out of the room without and explanation, disappear for hours, I search all over the institute looking for you! And here you are laughing with my brother like it's not 3am and nothing is wrong! Tell me! Please." At the look in his eyes I wanted to cry all over again, he looked like he had just spent the last hour in hell, his hair was in complete disarray, _probably from the amount of times he would have ran his hands through it when he couldn't find you! And cue even bigger guilt trip._ Because behind the anger and desperation I could see the utter worry and hurt that I would choose to obviously confide in Alec and not him. "We're supposed to be getting married and you can't even talk to me?" At the mention of the wedding I crack.

I practically fall forward into his arms, for the second time tonight, _fuck these hormones!_ Of course Jace is strong enough to catch me and for the first time in what feels like forever, being here comforts me. _It's time. Tell him._

"Jace." I whisper his name. _Please don't hate me after I tell you._

"Clary." He whispers right back. _Lord how I love this man. Ok you can do this._

"You have to promise me three things." I have no idea why I'm still whispering

"Anything." _Deep breath._

"One. You won't interrupt."

"Done." His eagerness actually makes me smile a little.

"Two, you won't get mad." That one seemed to shock him a bit but he recovered quickly.

"Ok…what's the third thing?" I could hear the confusion in his voice.

"You won't hate me." He just looked at me like I was crazy, when he saw I wasn't joking his skepticism morphed into a mixture of confusion and worry…he hadn't answered me.

"Promise?" The confusion was slowing being taken over by worry.

"Jace, do you promise." When he realized I needed and answer, and wouldn't continue without one he nodded, but that wasn't good enough. _I need to hear you say it._

"Clary, I could never hate you, I love you." His eyes were begging me to believe him. His hands were gripping mine almost like he was scared to let go, as if I would disappear if he did.

"I love you too, more than anything. But I need to hear you say it." _Please Jace I need you to promise. I need this._

"Ok….Clary I promise I won't hate you, you're scaring me now." He grabbed my face, wiping away the few silent tears I didn't even know had fallen.

"Ok…" _Deep breath, you can do this, he promised, just say it._ "So the other week, when we all went to dinner and we were cornered by that demon… you remember?" he nodded.

"Of course, it tried to grab you, but you shoved your blade right through its neck, perfect execution…" his eyes beamed with his pride in me. "…even though I was having a heart attack the entire time, you were perfect." It was no secret Jace detested me fighting even when we didn't have a choice. I let a small laugh escape me, so much for not interrupting, at my expression he let out a small chuckle and made the motion of zipping his lips.

"Well not long after, I wasn't feeling well, while you, Alec and Izzy were out dealing with that…umm… I can't remember its name but the one in central park…anyway..." I pushed in before he could interrupt again. "…So I wasn't feeling great, but I made some tea and went to lie down, I felt this sharp pain in the side of my abdomen." That caused a wave of panic to rush over him, I watched his eyes scan me from head to toe looking for any abnormalities. "Stop worrying, I'm fine!" he wasn't believing me. "I promise I'm ok, 100%...moving on, so I had the pain, I knew I couldn't call you because you were on a hunt and I didn't want to ring you and distract you…" At that he narrowed his eyes. I put my finger to his lips before he could speak. "You promised! Now listen! So I called the only other person I knew who would be available to help. Magnus. Obviously I had to go to him, he insisted on a portal but I didn't feel right about it…oh don't look at me like that…I figured the fresh air would do me good…and it did so nerr… I got there and we sat down and he gave me a once over so he could figure out how bad it was…relax! I told you I am ok! Anyway we were sitting there talking…and Magnus said something..." _this is it._

Magnus…he umm… he said..." _Fuck why is this so hard?!_

"Clary…" I just stared at him.

"Clary…what did Magnus say?" the worry was loud and clear. _Just say it already!_

"He said..." _one two three go!_ "Heaskedmewheremyengagmentringwas!" ok….that is so not how I meant for it to come out, I did not meant to practically scream it in his face… _sorry._

"Wait what?! Clary breathe! Slow down, say it again." He grabbed my face again, silently willing me to calm down. _Breathe in, and out, again._

"He asked me where my engagement ring was." I bit my lip, I couldn't move.

"And where was it?" _seriously? That's your question?_

"I don't know…" _please don't hate me. Please don't hate me. Please don't hate me._

"What do you mean you don't know?" the worry was well and truly gone, now there was just confusion.

"It-it must have slipped off when I was fighting the demon..." at the mention of the fight his jaw tensed. He stared at me for a second…then he laughed. He actually laughed. _Wait what? Why the fuck are you laughing!? I just tell you I lose a priceless family heirloom engagement ring and you're laughing?!_

"That's it? That's the big secret you've been tearing yourself up over for the past week? The ring?!" Ok, now I was getting shitty.

"That's it?! That's your mothers, and grandmothers, and great-grandmothers and probably great-great grandmothers ring, that you gave to me because all I wanted was some traditional mundane-ness, the one you told me you spent months tracking down, the one that is irreplaceable, the one you told me if I lost the wedding was off, the one thing you're as possessive about as you are me? That one? I tell you I lose it and you laugh and ask if that's it?! Are you fucking serious?! Johnathon Wayland Lightwood Heron-" my rant was cut off when I felt his lips against mine, the sweet innocent kiss meant to shut me up quickly turned into something much more passionate. My hands slid up into his golden curls and gripped them like my life depended on it, Jace's hands slid around my hips and he lifted me up onto the bench, this was we were the same height, he deepened the kiss even more, if that was even possible

When we finally came up for air he was still laughing. I was not. Seeing the very un-amused look on my face, he smiled even wider. Tucking a piece of hair behind me ear, he took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes.

"Clarissa Adele Fairchild. How I love you. Here I was freaking out all week thinking you were going to leave me or had killed some guy, and all it was, was the matter of you losing my mother's ring? Clary! Of course I don't hate you! How could I?! You are the highest form of perfection and you don't even know it, You are the reason I have something to fight for, you are the reason I wake up in the morning, to have you as the first thing I see, words can't how perfect you are…Clary, you didn't lose my mother's ring." Everything he just said was forgotten with that last comment.

"What do you mean? Of course I did! I had it on before the fight! I didn't after, that's the last time I remember seeing it. I went back to the alley but it was gone... I went into every pawn shop around praying it would be in the window but it wasn't! It's gone!" I proceeded to throw my face into my hands for the billionth time tonight.

"No it's not." I could feel him gripping my hand trying to pull it away, I opened my eyes slightly to see a rose gold ring, with a solid diamond in the middle, the band itself was intricate, yet simple, it was beautiful, it was his mothers, it was here.

"Jace! Where on earth did you find it?!" _I can't believe it! It's here! But how?!_ He was looking at me like I was the biggest conundrum on the planet.

"Clary, you were right, you dropped it fighting the demon." He still flinched at the mention of it. "…but…I saw it, picked it up and told you I would clean it, since it was covered in mud and blood, then when we got home I cleaned it, you told me you were going to have a shower, so I left it on the dresser…..remember?" And I did. Everything came rushing back, the fight, the walk home, the shower, and then bed. _I never put it back on, it's been there the entire time…fuck I'm and idiot._

"Don't worry it's one of the many things I love about you." Jace just smiled at me, all the worry and angst from the last couple of hours stripped away, his eyes showed nothing but pure love.

Taking my left hand in his, he slid the ring back onto its rightful place before placing a kiss on it, then my wrist, then the crook of my elbow, then my shoulder, my neck, my cheek and finally my lips.

"I love you." That was all I needed to say, everything else could wait.

Stepping back to help me off the bench he led me back to our room.

"Clary, please next time tell me what's bothering you, all this stress can't be good for the baby! Magnus has told you a billion times!" I couldn't help but laugh at my gorgeous, overprotective fiancé.

"I'm sorry, but we're ok, I promise."

"Good, now come on! Sleep time! You know we're meeting Magnus at 9 for the checkup and he said you need plenty of sleep."

Pulling me into his arms, I finally felt content. This was home.

I had my perfect fiancé, I had my perfect ring, I had my perfect baby, and best of all, I had my perfect, special pillow.

 **So….did I get you? Did you think she was freaking out about telling him she was pregnant? Remember she is and that's why she overreacted so much to losing the ring, hormones are not a fun thing! So I super doper love Clary and Alec friendship. It's the cutest thing ever!**

 **Love it? Hate it? Kill it with fire? Let me know**

 **Later Humans! Mwah**


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